And quite frankly, Im a bit afraid of it. This is the first time Ive ever had sex and been afraid.
Mainly because I dont want him forming some sort of attachment. I think it was a pity fuck. Hes never had sex with anyone and him and I have grown quite close so I just kind of let him.
Then, Cameron, who I have been hanging out with for the past few days and spending the night with, asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I want more than anything for this to happen. But the chances are, if I was in a relationship right now, it would fail miserably. I really do like him, I think hes fantastic, hes intelligent and fun to be around. The odd part is that I can be completely comfortable around him too. Like when I slept at his house, I just slept in my panties, which is rare, but I felt comfortable. He accepts the bitchy and snide remarks, hes sarcastic right back and I love it. I seriously could just hang out with him for days on end.
But, Im not ready for a relationship. Im not ready for everything to change this fast. Plus, he isnt going to use me. Which is also a rare thing, probably simply because I let myself get used. He never asks me for naked pictures or anything, he lets me tell him when Im ready and we go from there. He constantly wants to take me out and its nice to have someone think Im special enough to be taken out and such, thats not to say that people havent felt that in the past, Lanie was very good at that. Lanie was very good at showing that he thought I was special.
I know that Cameron wont use me. He hasnt yet at least. I love that he texts me when he wakes up, when he goes to sleep and when he gets off work. He texts me and tells me good night or good morning. He asks when Im free next or if Im hungry and want to go out.