Im currently writing an essay about how pornography is actually an art form. I later have present this in front of a class. Now, Ive never had a problem with presenting things that could potentially piss people off. But here I am thinking, Im starting over some where new… Lets get some controversial people in my life.
Ive yet to hear back about whether or not Im moving to that store in Vancouver, so Ill be calling other stores Monday. Hopefully moving soon.
Ive been sick for the past week or so and it really does suck.
But what hurt more, was the fact that while I was sick, I couldnt help thinking “I wish I had someone here to cuddle with.” So you know what I did? I went out and tried to find someone to cuddle with. I found someone. I found someone who I thought was fabulous and was going to be there for me and who I thought I could open up to and start to trust. Then, and this is my favorite part of the story, we are supposed to hang out last night. I texted him around 8pm and asked if he still wanted to hang out that night. I got nothing. So I asked again around 9pm. Still nothing. I then decided fuck this, apparently hes found someone better than me. Theres always someone better than me. She just so happen to come along faster than I thought. I was going to enjoy this for awhile, but no. I dont get to do that. I was just starting to move on from Nick.
But whats worse is right as I started crying about being alone. Nick called and asked where I was. I had texted him about being stood up and he thought I might have been in Portland.
I like him. I like him so very much and I cant stop thinking about him and this sucks so very much.
I often get the feeling that he doesnt want anything from me but sex. I hate that this is how I feel.
Something better always comes along… its just a matter of time.