I just really want to sit under the stars and talk with him. To just be able to lay there and chat while holding his hand. It makes me sad to think that maybe one day this would happen.. but probably not. I miss him so very much and its kind of ridiculous. Every so often I get a text from him and it only lasts maybe one or two texts, but still I love it when I get just a smiley face. Ive managed to piss off just about everyone I know somehow and Im really beginning to hate it. At first I really liked the alone time, now I really just want some damn affection and to be able to cry.
I almost called Nick crying last night, but I decided not to simply because Im not ready for him to see the soft side of me.
Daniel, god damn it Daniel. He is the most amazing man I know. Hes creative and funny, caring and intelligent. I absolutely love him, I hold him so dearly in my heart and I havent even met him. How? How can I care so much about someone I havent met? Simply because hes a damn good person. Hes the type of person you can tell really cares because he doesnt rest until you feel better. Hes always been there for me and I absolutely love him. I love his dreams. He talks to me about running away to Japan with me and I love it. Hes the only person who has ever said that to me.
Im so sick of being lonely. Im so sick of being unwanted. Im so sick of being tired, and worst of all Im so sick of everyone being pissed at me.